You don’t have to search too hard to find stories about people being booted from land-based casinos. 

There’s the famous tale of Ben Affleck being busted for counting cards plus multiple reports of NBA player Allan Iverson throwing chips and abusing the dealer when he loses. There are also a host of hilarious, strange and downright ridiculous recounts of punters being ejected from Las Vegas casinos on sites such as Reddit and Quora.

We probably shouldn’t be surprised by some of these stories. Land-based casinos are, after all, places where people flock to in order to let their hair down, throw caution to the wind and otherwise let loose with old mates and new acquaintances. But like Kev the Koala sometimes says… there’s such a thing as having TOO much fun.

In our latest article, we detail the types of things that can get you kicked out of a land-based casino. From snapping selfies while at the table to trying to bring your pet onto the casino floor. Legally, Land-based casinos don’t actually need any reason to kick you out, but if you’re doing any of the following activities, that’s more than enough motivation for them.

Being too inebriated

One of the best things about betting in a land-based casino is that waitresses will bring comped drinks to your table or to the machine you’re on. You don’t even have to get up. Just call them over and make a request. You can then gamble and booze without fear of interrupting your winning streak.

The flip side to this is that free booze leads to excessive drinking in most cases, and excessive drinking rarely ends well. If you’re in an online casino and you’re noticeably intoxicated, staff will be forced to step in and remove you. At the end of the day, this may be a good thing. Rarely does anyone make smart betting decisions when they’re 10 schooners deep.

Counting cards

While counting cards isn’t exactly illegal, it is most definitely frowned upon in just about every land-based casino on the planet.

This means that when pit bosses or dealers notice patterns in your play that suggest you’re counting cards, they will do whatever they can to get you kicked out of their land-based casino. If you’re a big shot like Ben Affleck, who admitted to counting cards at the Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas, you may just get a tap on the shoulder.

In any case, just because Alan from “The Hangover” can do it doesn’t mean you should too.

Becoming abusive

Nobody wins when you cause a scene in a public place. You look like a fool, the person you’re berating becomes defensive and everyone in your immediate vicinity feels a mixture of discomfort and pity.

So instead of running the risk of being kicked out of a land-based casino when things don’t go your way, be like Kev the Koala and play it cool. If you’re getting that fired up over a few bad calls or becoming abusive because you’ve lost some cash, there’s a chance that you shouldn’t be gambling in the first place.

Using your phone at a table

It said that anything your desktop computer can do your smartphone can do better. This has led some devious land-based casino lovers to use their phones for evil.

Making calculations under the table, using card counting apps to track each and every hand or even snapping selfies while in a casino are all big no-nos. And while they may not get you kicked out of a land-based casino straight away, you will certainly be on the watchlist during your entire session.

Our advice is to leave the phone in your room or turn it off completely. This way there can be no misunderstanding that leads you to being dragged away from the table when you’re just about to haul in a massive win. All for a lame selfie…

Being underdressed

Aussies are the kings and queens of rocking up to formal events decidedly underdressed. We take pride in our casual wear and are staunch believers in the “less if more” mentality when it comes to our clothing. Of course, winter is a different story and we often switch up the pluggers for Ugg boots.

We also tend to think that dressing up just means putting on a pair of long pants or a dress. For land-based casinos, this type of lax approach to what we wear can be a red flag. They want you to look like you have money to burn, even if you don’t. You don’t have to wear a James Bond-style tuxedo or a dashing evening gown mind you. But at the very least a collared shirt and a nice dress won’t go astray.

Spilling your drink

Is there any more tell-tale sign that you’ve had too much to drink than when you wave your arms and accidentally launch a full glass of wine across the table?

We think not but spilling your drink doesn’t always mean you’re wasted. It can also be just a clumsy error, a small lapse in concentration that just happens to ruin the flawless green table game surface or your partners new suit. In any case, spilling your drink on the floor, on a pokie machine or on someone else is bound to raise eyebrows.

If you’re lucky, you’ll get away with only uttering a few apologies and moving to a different area. If you happen to spill so much that fellow gamblers are practically drowning though, then you might as well show yourself out.

Gambling as a minor

Every state and territory in Australia has different rules and legislations surrounding gambling, but no matter who you are or where you come from, you must be 18 years old to enter a land-based casino and place bets.

This doesn’t stop minors trying to sneak into casinos with fake IDs or through back doors though, which is pretty amusing if you’re an older patron. It’s even funnier considering that most youths who have managed to slip into a land-based casino stand out like a koala with sunglasses. That’s to say they’re pretty damn noticeable.

All we can say on the matter is that we don’t condone underage gambling no matter what country you’re in. So if you do see any suspiciously tall people swerving and swaying around the casino floor wearing a trench coat, dark shades and a hat pulled down over their face, there’s a possibility that there’s two kids under that coat.

Consuming illegal drugs

Now we know that Fair Go members like to have a good time, but we also know that you’re a sensible bunch, which means this won’t apply to you. For everyone else out there who likes to supplement their night’s out with illegal drugs, listen up.

If you’re caught taking any banned substance while on the grounds of a land-based casino, getting kicked out will be the least of your problems. You might also face legal action or be held by the casino staff until the police can arrive to arrest you. In short, consuming illegal drugs at a land-based casino is one of the silliest things that you can do given that there’s really no need for it.

Surely landing a big jackpot or even having some good honest fun with your mates offers enough of a high, right? We like to think so.

Bringing an animal into the casino

You can’t bring any animals into a land-based casino. Period. No wheeling elephants in on trolleys, no leading your pet donkey in with a carrot and certainly no smuggling in of goldfish in a plastic bag. They just won’t have it.

The only exception here is that apparently koalas are allowed. Well, that’s what Kev tells us anyway. You also can’t bring dogs or cats onto the casino floor, even if they’re in a special cage. In truth, we’re not sure why you would want to in the first place. You have enough on your plate without having to look after a four-legged, finned or feathered companion.

Arguing with the dealers

Getting kicked out of a land-based casino can sometimes be the result of a simple argument between the punter and the dealer. You think you should have won; they think otherwise.

More often than not this disagreement is alcohol fuelled, which only worsens the situations. What we can say for sure is that these flareups are always innocuous. The dealer has all the power at the end of the day and with a flick of their hand or a quick glance towards their boss, you’ll be out of your seat before you can take another sip of your drink.

Like we said previously, you never want to be kicked out of anywhere, let alone a land-based casino during a too hot to trot winning streak. If you keep your cool and be respectful of not just the dealers but also fellow patrons and the game itself, you’ll be fine. If you treat the casino floor like a circus tent and act like a clown though, you can expect to be turfed.

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